The Alliance for Self-Directed Education defines 6 "optimizing conditions" for self-directed learning, the first of which is that children–children–are responsible for their own learning. Children decide what to learn. Children decide what sort of structure or help they need. And perhaps most importantly, children decide whether to do anything at all that "looks like" learning. (It doesn't mean that children do all of this without input or inspiration from adults, but it does mean children have the final call on their own learning.)
On the surface, a Montessori classroom fits this description nicely, but my experience–and the experiences of many of my Montessori colleagues–is that these principles are rarely a reality. Instead, "freedom with responsibility", as we like to tell parents, typically means something more like "freedom as long as you make choices that don't make us anxious that your parents will be anxious," or "freedom as long as you choose from a small menu of things we want you to do anyway." This is not true freedom. Among other things, it does not include the most basic freedoms of all: the freedom to quit and the freedom to do nothing.
There are many reasons for these limitations, some of them perhaps due to Maria Montessori herself, but at its heart, I think there is one basic cause: our society has created the illusion that adults can control children's learning, and expects the responsible parent to take charge of their children's learning (for the child's future benefit, of course). Even parents and teachers who don't really buy this theory of learning expect it, and parents sign their kids up for school with implicit expectations about what will happen at school. Those assumptions include that children will learn to read, write, and calculate “on time”, and that they will spend their days doing productive “work”. When those things don't happen, they are understandably upset, and usually have communal (and administrative) support for their view.
The result is that Montessori guides who want to offer children the freedom to be themselves, even if that self is not currently excited about learning to read, learning multiplication facts, or even sitting still, are caught in a bind. While trying to offer freedom, they are held responsible for ensuring that children make particular choices with that freedom, and thus can offer only limited freedom, or the illusion of freedom.
But here's what I've learned from exploring the world of self-directed education: It doesn't have to be this way! Sudbury Valley Schools, Agile Learning Centers, Liberated Learners centers, and similar communities begin by establishing the expectation that learning is the child's responsibility, and adults will inspire, encourage, consult, and guide, but they will not control. And it works. Families choose these programs, and their children grow up to be competent, capable (if sometimes unconventional) adults.
Montessorians, we can do this too!