If you have spent any time in the Montessori world, you have probably heard the term observation bandied about frequently. You have likely been told to observe frequently (and if you haven’t, you may want to reconsider your source of Montessori advice), but exactly how do you observe, and what’s the point?
I’m going to save the details of why observation is important for another post, but fundamentally, observation allows us to lead from our wisdom, not from our fear. It provides us with the opportunity to both separate ourselves from our anxieties, and to understand what is truly going on with the children in our care.
So when you want to observe, what do you do? This is the approach I have adopted. I call it Notice/Wonder/Connect.
Begin with I notice… What do you actually see happening? What are the sounds? What is your child saying? How long has it been going on? What materials are in use? Or not in use?
In addition, and this is important, notice your own reactions to what you observe. Are you thrilled? Are you feeling a desire to jump in and praise your child in the hopes that they’ll do more? Are you anxious? Angry? Annoyed? What are the little thoughts running through the back of your head, driving those feelings? “She’s not doing any real work. If I let him take responsibility for getting on Zoom by herself, he might miss the meeting. They’ve been working on that drawing all day; they should do some writing. They’re going to fall behind! Then they’ll never get into college! If a parent walks in here, they’re going to think I can’t control my class, because it seems chaotic.”The second step is I wonder… Now you can begin to ask questions about what you’ve observed. “I wonder why they have that material out, since they don’t seem to be using it. Are they using it as a prop to make it look like they’re working? Is it there simply to help them imagine the work in their heads? Are they avoiding it because they don’t understand how to use it? Are they tired today?” If your observing in your child’s classroom, this is when you might ask, “I wonder why the teacher is letting child A do this, but not letting child B do that?”
You can question your own feelings, too. “I wonder if praise will really inspire her to do more. This work doesn’t come from the materials, but I wonder if it is serving an important need for this child.” It’s important to keep your questions as honest as you can, especially if you’re going to share your observations with others, though I admit, when I’m observing my own responses, my questions are sometimes more direct challenges to myself than honest questions (i.e. “Come on, is she really going to fail to get into college if she learns her times tables in third grade instead of second?”).The third step is to connect. This is where you begin to connect your questions to your experiences, your knowledge of child development, your knowledge of possible lessons, and so on. “The last time I praised her for doing so much math, she looked really upset. Maybe I should think twice about doing that again.” “The last time my class got this chaotic, they created an Early Humans day. It was a mess, but the result was amazing. Maybe I should see where this is going to go.” “She loves playing with those legos. Maybe I can tell her a history story and suggest that she might build a scene from the story with her legos.” “It seems like he’s struggling with the difference between rhombi and parallelograms. What lesson could I give to help with that?” This is where you might find it helpful to talk to a colleague or a Montessori expert. (Hint, you can schedule time to get coaching from me!)
Now, only now are you ready to actually formulate a plan and decide whether step in. You may decide that it’s time to step in directly, but observation also gives you the opportunity to have an honest conversation at another time. I’ll get into this more in another post, but suffice it to say that often, you can have more impact by orchestrating a little discussion around the topic of concern at another time, rather than stepping in (or stepping in it) right in the moment.
In the interest of giving credit where it is due, I didn’t invent this protocol. I actually learned it as a teaching tool for children. Max Ray-Riek introduced a variation on this protocol for teaching math in his book Powerful Problem Solving, and John Muir Laws and Emilie Lygren introduce it for nature observation in their book How to Teach Nature Journaling.
Some Questions Answered
How long should this take?
It can vary a great deal. A formal observation in a classroom could last an hour. More realistically, a teacher might carve out five or ten minutes here and there to sit and observe. But this process can also happen in 10 or 20 second chunks throughout the day. You notice your child is about to be late to a Zoom call. You feel the urge to step in and remind them to get on Zoom. Then, you notice the urge, you pause, and you ask yourself “I wonder what will happen if I don’t say anything? The worst thing that will happen is he’ll be late to a Zoom call. Is that the end of the world? Can he learn some useful lessons from that?” Now, you have the opportunity to decide whether or not to give a reminder.
Should I really just sit down and watch?
In a classroom, yes, you can simply sit and observe, especially for younger children or in a large classroom, but if you’re home with just one or two children, they’d likely find it strange if you just sat and watched them. This is especially true if you have a history of judging your children and their work, and there is any risk that they will interpret your observation as a kind of assessment. Instead, I’d stick with observing on the fly. Sometimes, you can also observe while you’re doing something else. For example, if you’re washing dishes and your child is working or playing nearby, you have a great opportunity for some non-invasive observation. If you’re working together, you can observe as you work.
What if I don’t know the answers to my questions?
That’s okay! You may decide to observe more, or to do some research or ask an expert. Some questions are really heart questions, and all you can do is be aware of them and let them be, trusting that the answers will come with time.
Can I just ask my child some of my questions?
Of course! But make sure your questions are genuine questions, not criticisms in disguise. There’s a big difference between asking in a voice of genuine curiosity, “Would you tell me about what you’re working on?” and asking “Why aren’t you doing your math?” Also, be aware that your child may not actually have a satisfying answer to your question. Many children, especially younger ones, don’t have very good insight into their motivations.
Lead from your wisdom, not from your fear
You may have noticed that this model of observation seems a lot like a mindfulness practice. It is! We observe to understand ourselves and our children better, and we observe to put some space between our children, our anxieties, and our actions. Then we have the opportunity to choose a course of action, observe its effect, and reflect on the outcome. This is how we learn to lead from our wisdom, not from our fear.